Christopher's Grandfather passed away on September 18, 2012. Family and friends gathered to celebrate Papa Don's life the last weekend of September. Chris wrote and read Papa's eulogy (included below). Papa will be missed by many, but there are lots of memories we have of him.
Donald George Tavern
Most eulogies start with the name of the person being eulogized. But in the case of my grandfather, it’s not quite that simple. To simply start with a name, you would have to ask, “Which name do I start with?” Confused? Well, let me tell you a story, a story that Papa really loved to tell, so you may have heard it before. Growing up Papa was not known as “Don.” In fact, he didn’t even think his name was Don. Along with his entire family - well, his entire family minus one - Papa was under the impression that his name was Micheal Angelo Tavern, the name given to him by his parents, named after his father. Because of this, he was known as “Junior” or as “Angie.” But, if you are someone who knew him not as “Angie” or “Junior” but as Don, you know that there is a twist to the story, a twist lovingly provided by Papa’s older sister, Peggy. Peggy was not fond of the name her parents had chosen for her newest brother. So, charged with the responsibility of recording this new brother’s birth certificate, Peggy erased Michael Angelo and replaced it with Donald George, a much more American sounding name in her opinion. Though she had the guts to change his name, she could not muster the bravery needed to tell her parents, or her little brother who would - 20 years later - have a bit of an identity crisis. You see, Papa was on his way to enlist in the Air Force, and to do so, he needed his birth certificate. So down to the records office he went and when he arrived, he asked for a copy of the birth certificate for himself, Michael Angelo Tavern, born March 6, 1929. The woman working at the records office searched file after file, looking for a match. After exhausting her options she said to Papa, “Well...I don’t have anything here for a Michael Angelo Tavern, but I do have a Donald George Tavern born on that same day.” In a fashion that suited Papa perfectly, he responded, without missing a beat, ‘I’ll take it,” and from that moment on he was Don Tavern.
Donald George Tavern was born on March 6, 1929 on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, in Sault Saint Marie to be exact. He was the last of 13 children born to Michael Angelo Tavern and Mary Congetta Fornicola Tavern. The son of two Italian immigrants, Don and his siblings were the first in his family to be born with the name Tavern, as his father’s family name was changed from “Taverna” to “Tavern” when a hasty customs agent Americanized the Italian name. Don and his brothers and sisters wore the name proudly as the first generation of his family born in the United States.
Having that many siblings became particularly meaningful when his parents died early in his life. Oldest brother, Felix - nicknamed and known by all as Butts - became a father-figure in Don’s life and older sister Peggy did her best to fill the place of their late mother.
While growing up in Sault Saint Marie, Don was involved in hockey, football, and baseball - sports he would continue to enjoy, in one form or another, for his entire life. He took a special liking to hockey. You see, Sault Saint Marie is located along the banks of the St. Mary’s River, the river which not only connects two Great Lakes, but also creates the border between the US and Canada. During the cold, Michigan winters the waters of the St. Mary’s would freeze over, and - as Papa would tell it - boys from the US side and boys from the Canada side would lace up their skates, meet in the middle of the river, and play pick-up hockey games on the international border. He would go on to play hockey, along with football and baseball, for the Sault High Blue Devils. While in high school, Don was also part of the school choir and, during his junior year, he travelled with the choir to Washington, D.C. to sing for President Eisenhower. He graduated from Sault Saint Marie High School in 1947.
After graduating, Don put his hockey skills to good use. He began a junior hockey career playing for the Sault Martins, a team that was part of the Upper Peninsula Hockey League. In 1948, the Martins - partly because of Don’s great play on the wing - won the Amateur Hockey Championship. Also at that time, a little hockey team by the name of the Detroit Red Wings did their preseason training up in Sault Saint Marie. They would often invite some of the local hockey players to scrimmage with them, so of course Don jumped at the chance. He impressed the coaches with his skills, was quickly added to the practice squad, and was offered a spot in the Red Wings organization.
In 1950, before he had the chance to see what kind of professional career hockey might hold for him, Don was drafted into the US Army. For reasons he never really shared, Papa shied away from the Army and chose instead to enlist in the Air Force. He served his country from 1950-1954 as a Crash Boat Radio Operator. He was stationed in bases throughout the North American continent, places such as Texas, Mississippi, California, and in 1951 was transferred to Alaska, where he spent half of his Air Force career. Even though he was far from home, he couldn’t stay far away from the hockey rink. He started his Air Force Hockey career in 1952 with the 39th Air Depot Wing Rockets and his “sparkling play” (as reported by the Sault newspaper) helped the Rockets win the Air Force Hockey crown. That team also went on to win the Northwest Conference Hockey Tournament in Spokane. During this tournament, Don posted a double hat trick, six goals, and the local paper commented: “too bad Don Tavern, Alaskan air command all-star hockey player, doesn’t have two heads. If he did he’d have a hat for each one.” The next year he began playing for the Elmendorf Commandos. With Elmendorf, as he had with the Sault Martins and the 39th Wing Rockets, Don’s play spurred the team to a championship, this time winning the Alaska Armed Forces Championship and the US Air Force Championship. After such success in Armed Forces hockey, Don was offered a scholarship to play hockey at Dartmouth University, a fact that we all discovered when looking through his military service file. He also received a letter from the legendary Jack Adams, then general manager of the Red Wings, congratulating him for his success and inviting him to workout with the team when his military service was complete.
In 1953, he found himself stationed in Portland, Oregon, working on a crash boat in the Columbia River. While in the northwest, he met Carol Jean Davies of Tacoma, Washington. The two were married in Tacoma on November 20, 1953, and that marriage lasted for the remaining 59 years of his life. They started their married life together in Portland, since Don was still stationed there. In 1954, Don was accepted for training as a Non-Commissioned Officer, training that brought him to McChord Air Force Base in Tacoma. After completing the NCO training and earning the rank of Staff Sergeant, Don was briefly transferred back to Portland, before being awarded the Good Conduct Medal for his years of service and then being honorably discharged from the Air Force on December 7, 1954.
Just a month before Don left the Air Force, he and Carol welcomed their first son, Michael, into the world and add to the family again three years later when daughter, Lynn, arrived. The family’s first house was on East I Street, quite close to the train tracks, so close I am told that the first night they slept there, they thought the trains would run through the house. In 1960, they moved into a newly built house on 101st Street. Don had wired the house for Dale Blanchard and liked it so much he and Carol decided to buy it. They would make this house their home for the next 50 years.
Even though he was no longer a member of the armed forces, Don chose to center his civilian career around the Armed Forces. He started out at Mount Rainier Ordinance Depot at McChord, spending nine years in the electronics division. Later he began work at Post Engineers on Fort Lewis Army Base as an electrician. Eventually, he took over all on-base electrical estimating with the Directorate of Engineering and Housing, a position he held until retirement. When he did retire in 1986, he closed the book on 36 years of service in and then work for the Armed Forces of the United States of America.
But work alone is not what made Don the man he was. His interests, as they had been in his younger years, continued to be quite diverse. Sports continued to be a big part of Don’s life. Though a hockey career was not in the cards, he never really hung up his skates. He played in an adult hockey league in Lakewood and both Mike and Lynn enjoyed watching their Dad on the ice. When Sprinker Ice Rink opened in the 70s, Don took the opportunity to spread his knowledge of the game to a new generation of players as a youth hockey coach. Years later, after he gave up coaching and playing, he still couldn’t fully get away from the ice. Public skating sessions would often find Papa – accompanied by my Dad, my aunt, and eventually, me – on the ice at Sprinker. Even though time had progressed, those who saw him on the ice always agreed that he could definitely skate.
In addition to hockey, Don continued to stay actively involved in baseball, more specifically softball, as a coach for numerous ladies softball teams. For quite a few years, weekends were filled with games and tournaments, and travelling to out-of-town tournaments was not uncommon. In particular, the Evergreen Chiropractic team – which featured his daughter, Lynn, at first base – always did well and won multiple tournaments throughout the years. As he gave up coaching, Don continued to find ways to enjoy the game. He played a mean game of backyard whiffleball with his grandsons. He continued to enjoy watching Mike and Lynn play softball and loved to watch grandsons, Jimmy and Danny, play baseball on their high school teams and then softball after that.
Though hockey and softball were big parts of Don’s life, he found plenty of other ways to occupy his freetime. From early on, the Tavern family of Tacoma always loved to go camping. Most frequented locations included Pacific Beach, the Hump Tulips River, Millersylvania State Park near Olympia, and Cat’s Creek in the Gifford Pinchot National Forrest. Don knew how to camp. He and Carol owned five trailers over the years, upgrading each time to a rig that was a little bigger and that had a few more bells and whistles. Quite often, the Taverns were accompanied on their camping trips by the Armstrong family. Gladys and Claire were among Carol and Don’s closet friends – and the Tavern and Armstrong kids got along rather well, too – so trips with them were particularly fun. Camping was something Don did for almost his whole life and I know I speak for my family when I say that many of our best and favorite memories of Papa Don come from a camping trip. Maybe it was at Millersylvania, rounding up enough people to play softball in the big field or learning how to properly throw a horseshoe in the pits across from the trailers. Maybe it was sitting by a fire, whittling a bi-plane made entirely out of wood. Or maybe it was floating through one of the twin culverts on an inner-tube or hiking down the creek at Cat’s Creek.
After retiring, Don also found many ways to keep busy. He and Carol loved to do crafts and puzzles around the house. Often times, upon entering their house, you’d find card tables set up with multiple puzzles in the works. Puzzles were something that he continued to enjoy his entire life. Don would also help Carol prepare various pieces of whatever craft she was working on at the time. Papa eventually took to craft projects of his own. If you sat next to him long enough, he would often start sketching your name or your initials in his patented Old English script. He spent a lot of his time in his workshop at home, a workshop with a very unique light switch. Some of his signature projects were birdhouses, wishing wells, wind chimes, Christmas light globes made of plastic cocktail cups, and tin-men made out of metal soup cans. Driving around the Tacoma area, I would often spot some of Papa’s creations on people’s porches.
In addition to crafting, Don and Carol also loved to travel, and not just in their trailer. Trips to Mexico, Tahiti, Florida and a trip to Italy are of special note. They also went on many cruises to various locations. Boxes and boxes of pictures show how much they enjoyed spending time away from home with the many friends they met along the way.
Throughout their marriage, Don and Carol could often be found on the dance floor. First, it was ballroom dancing. They would dance at the Elks Hall, or together in the rec room of their house. Later in their lives together, Don and Carol really took to country dancing. They danced the “Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” “The Watermelon Crawl,” and “Slappin’ Leather” with the best of em. Papa looked as comfortable on the dance floor as he did on the ice. They also began regularly teaching these dances at local dance halls. Many friends were made on the dance floor, and many memories, too.
As if they did not have enough to do, Carol and Don began ushering for concerts at the Tacoma Dome and the Pantages Theater. They also worked in local election offices helping with voter registration and counting ballots. In 1993, they began working at the Puyallup Fair. For eight years of Fairs, they could be found at one of the Information Booths helping fair-goers find their way around to the attractions and the shows.
Around 2002, Don began to show signs of Alzheimer’s disease. As the disease progressed, he moved into the Life Care Center in downtown Puyallup in 2005. Though he was a patient there, he thought of himself more as an employee. He was the unofficial doorman, welcoming all the visitors and alerting nurses when a patient would get too close to the door. He also helped move all of the furniture when the facility was re-carpeted. As things progressed, Don was moved to an adult family home in the Puyallup area. Eventually, Carol moved into the same home. Though he began to be forgetful, some things about Papa never changed. He always had a smile on his face, still cheated at dice and cards – he always said it is only cheating if you get caught – and was a person that others enjoyed being around.
On September 18, 2012, Papa Don passed peacefully away after living a life full of adventure, service, and love. He leaves behind a family that loves him very much: Carol, wife of 59 years; son, Michael, and his wife, Shawn; daughter, Lynn, and her husband, Sean; five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
Papa Don loved life and lived it to the fullest. If there is one quality that each of us noticed about him, I would guess it would be his smile. Perhaps that has to do with his Italian heritage – a heritage he was always very proud of – as there is an Italian proverb that says, “Count your nights by stars, not by shadows; count your life with smiles, not with tears.” Papa lived his life with a smile, even when he had reason to frown, and along the way taught each of us to smile a little wider and enjoy life just a little bit more.
written by Christopher Tavern
in honor of his grandfather
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